yea.. yeaa…
I’ve been working.. got myself an internship. Actually enjoying it quite a bit, more than uni hahaa funny isn’t it? So many ppl will disagree with me on that. but really, working’s more exciting, at least for now. Maybe I’m just sick of studying after so many years. With architecture and me it’s pretty much a love – hate relationship. I love it yet I hate it and sometime it feels like it hates me. i kinda struggle to find my own little niche within this world of architecture.. where do I fit in exactly? What sort of space do I create? In reality there isn’t much opportunity for dreaming..
But right now the bigger question is what is it do I wanna do next exactly? How can I bring myself where I want to be? Time flies, life is way too short. Being in my mid twenties, how much time do I have left before the cest of youth drains away and it’s all too late? Biggest fear : waking up one day old and alone worst of all realizing it’s too late to realize my dreams.. so now.. how do I get my priority right? and know what is it that I want exactly. I sometime confuse me too.. lol.. oh well… I guess I can only take it as it comes, one at a time. It’s so hard to be focused when there’s so much to accomplish and you just have no idea where to start.. and half of the time you’re worried you’re under qualified to realize your dream, not nearly competent enough.. have I dream too big a dream?? Hmm…
Is it just me or more of you mid twenties out there feel this way too? Am I on the onset of quarter-life crisis? Because half the time now already I feel too old as a beginner.. realizing all those things I thought I’d have by the time I hit the big three-o might not realized yet when the time comes.. *argh*
Lesson no.1 : Fear is paralyzing. That’s what I learned in the past year. Especially the fear of failure. You’re so afraid to fail you don’t even start. So now everyday I’m fighting my fears.. or at least I try to. Can’t remember how I got here.. so when did I start worrying so much?
Lesson no.2 : you don’t rely on anyone for anything but yourself. The world doesn’t owe you a thing. I guess trust is also a bit of a issue with me..
Alright.. alright.. I don’t wanna be sounding bitter but really.. sometime.. right now..
f*ck u world!
Could really be my bumper sticker.. yes I have issues. I too agree.
